Rocked in Solitary

by Blindedbylife

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    A download also comes with a bunch of photos from the album cover photo shoot.
    In case you are interested I am also a photographer and I post my photos at thatsnotsoonenough.tumblr.com

      name your price

     

1.
03:06
2.
04:59
3.
4.
5.
6.
03:04
7.
8.
9.
06:26
10.
04:32
11.
(free) 03:37
12.
04:37

credits

released June 9, 2014

This album is written, performed, recorded, mixed and produced by Ryan Spence.

In his basement.

If it sounds like it was recorded in a basement that is why. If it doesn't sound it was recorded in a basement then good job me :)

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Blindedbylife Ottawa, Ontario

I guess this is the place where I tell you a bit about myself and my music. But I am not really good and explaining things. For a song writer I am not always good with my words, which is probably why I am rambling a bit right now. Oh crap I seem to be running out of characters and I haven't really told you anything yet. I still have a bit of space so I guess I should at least say that my music is ... more

contact / help

Contact Blindedbylife

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: She Left Me
I think it may have been my worst day
The day she walked out on me
I really didn’t see it coming
But I guess she had to be free
It just seemed so ridiculously sudden
She was gone with a whirl
I wish I could take it like a man
But she left me for another girl

I should have seen this coming
It just happened in a blur
But what hurts the most are the postcards
That say I wish you were her
Like I didn’t feel emasculated enough
To end our matrimony
But she insists on being the one
To send me alimony

I guess it is my fault, I know
And I feel so dumb
I completely regret asking her
For that MFF 3some
She says she knows I blame myself
She says that isn’t the case
But she gives new meaning to the phrase
Rub it in my face

I did my best to handle it all
With dignity and poise
I’ve got something that they don’t have
But then she showed me their toys
Track Name: Social Media
I am not on the facebook
So I can’t get your friend request
I can’t be found anywhere
On that site that you’re so obsessed
I am afraid I can not like your store
I can’t poke or comment on your wall
That status you wrote I didn’t see
Because I don’t care at all
I didn’t see those pics you posted
And I completely missed that joke
I’ll never know what you had for lunch
I won’t see when you awoke

Because I am completely out of touch
I just have no idea what is going on
I used to be hip I used to be cool
Now I am completely withdrawn
Social media just baffles me
I just can’t get behind the notation
Though you will never hear this song
I can’t use this stuff for self promotion

I am not on the twitter
I didn’t see your twit or whatever
I can never see your 140 character
Attempt to be funny and clever
The only thing I know about a hashtag
Is that it looks to me like a pound sign
I guess I can understand why people use it
Which is more than I can say about Vine
My name doesn’t start with an @
But I am sure things could be a lot worse
I am sure that I am missing quite a lot
Not being a part of the twitterverse

Because I am completely out of touch
I just have no idea what is going on
I used to be hip I used to be cool
Now I am completely withdrawn
Social media just baffles me
I just can’t get behind the notation
Though you will never hear this song
I can’t use this stuff for self promotion

I am not on the instagram
I hardly ever take pictures with my phone
I guess I don’t feel like every tiny moment
In my life really needs to be shown
I am certainly not on the google plus
What that is I am not even sure
I am not anywhere on the foursquare
I don’t even have photos on flickr
I have never even been on reddit
Don’t hate me for that, I must beg
I am nowhere to be found on linkedin
My klout score is a big fat goose egg

Because I am completely out of touch
I just have no idea what is going on
I used to be hip I used to be cool
Now I am completely withdrawn
Social media just baffles me
I just can’t get behind the notation
Though you will never hear this song
I can’t use this stuff for self promotion

I am actually on the tumbler
thatsnotsoonenough.tumblr.com
Track Name: Love of My Life
I am very happy with the way things are
You are the love of my life…so far
And you have set a pretty high bar
The best woman I know by far
But listen if I may be so bold
who knows what the future may hold
What may come is totally unpredictable
But at the moment my love is unequivocal
Maybe tomorrow you could be lost to me
Anything can happen, you hve to agree
You could be in an accident gone just like that
You could fall to your death, splat
You could get really sick, die holding my hand
Losing you now is not what I planned
You may finally come to that realization
You’d be happier on a permanent vacation
You may finally see that I’m a huge prick
That you’d rather just beat me with a huge stick
It wouldn’t be hard to find someone better for you
Though it will hurt I will probably pull through
If your gone I’d be ok, sort of
Eventually I will trick someone else into love
But as of the moment you’re the love of my life
I am very happy to call you my wife
What should you do now, you should probably know
Is to hug me and love me and never let me go
Track Name: I Sold My Soul
Here I am, late at night, standing at the cross roads
It is cold, I am scared, but ready to sell my soul
I want talent, I want money, I want groupies in loads
I want everything I can have, all the fame that is in store
She appeared, suddenly before me with a puff of smoke
She takes a look, sizes me up and with an evil smirk
She is so stunning, she is quite lovely, wearing only a cloak
My jaw drops, my eyes linger and I feel like a jerk
She asked me why, I dared to summon her to this earth
I am here to make a deal, I am before you to submit
She reaches deep into me to try and determine my worth
When she is done she takes a look at me, pfft is that it?

I sold my soul to get me this talent
but it was worth barely anything at all
I wanted to play beautiful music
But I guess my soul was too small

What do you mean? I ask her with some trepidation
I always thought my soul was a good size
She laughed at me, with way too much elation
I am not sure who was telling you these lies
I really had no idea, nobody said anything before
She just laughed and said, you can’t please me with that
I only have what god gave me, it’s nothing to abhor
She looks at me, incredulously, is that a matter of fact?
I said I know that I may look it, but I am not that dumb
Are you going to make a deal with me I angrily demanded
She said I hope, at least that you can make me come
Up here and not have me leave completely empty handed

I sold my soul to get me this talent
But I think that it is rather diminished
I gave everything that I had
But I ran out before she could finish
Track Name: Machine of Death
The machine came along, really not that long ago
It can tell you how you die, but do you really want to know?
Printed on a little paper your death in big block letters
Now that you know your death, do you really feel much better?
You might know the how but you don’t know the when or why
You basically know what everyone knows, that one day you will die

It is just a bit of pressure on your finger tip that the needle will apply
It is just a drop of blood that is required, that is all you need to give
You want the machine of death to tell you how you will die
But the real question you should be asking is how you will live?

The test, my friend is what you do now with this knowledge
Do you see the world, do you hide away, do you maybe go to college?
Do you use this info to live in fear, does it give you freedom to be alive?
Will you let the machine’s answer take you down or with it will you thrive?
I guess that answers up to you my friend, now go forth and be complete
Death will come to everyone one day the only question is how you meet

It is just a bit of pressure on your finger tip that the needle will apply
It is just a drop of blood that is required, that is all you need to give
You want the machine of death to tell you how you will die
But the real question you should be asking is how you will live?

You prediction may seem to you quite clear, it might make perfect sense
But you can never be quite sure you should stay on your best defense
Sometimes the answer that you get can really be quiet poetic
Which frankly one should expect from something so prophetic
But sometimes the answers you get can be almost downright demonic
Because my friend, the last thing you want is for your death to be ironic

It is just a bit of pressure on your finger tip that the needle will apply
It is just a drop of blood that is required, that is all you need to give
You want the machine of death to tell you how you will die
But the real question you should be asking is how you will live?
Track Name: Wonder
Oh, my dearest how I love you so
I just have to try and let the world know
Nobody loves her quite like I do
Only I have the love that is completely true
To me she is the most beautiful girl
To me she is the most precious pearl
Only I know just how funny she can be
She is amazing in a way that only I can see
When I am near her it gets my heart thundering
But now that I think about it it has got me wondering

If she is so great then why does nobody else see?
Maybe it isn’t there and there is something wrong with me
Either I am seeing things that are not really there
Maybe the things I love are just really rare
If I love you more, then what did everyone miss?
I can’t tell if it is me or them, but something’s amiss
I can honestly say I love you like no other
What do they know that I don’t I have to wonder

My dearest of dears you are one in a million
Which isn’t that good when there’s over 7 billion
But don’t let my archaic turn of phrase go and fool you
Baby you are my one ring because I think you rule too
You, my lovely are positively and amazingly unique
I am the only one who sees it, am I a freak?
Because it really does have me questioning
And now you finally have heard my confession…ing?
Are you really that amazing or is this just lunacy?
A fuck it, I love you enough with this scrutiny

If she is so great then why does nobody else see?
Maybe it isn’t there and there is something wrong with me
Either I am seeing things that are not really there
Maybe the things I love are just really rare
If I love you more, then what did everyone miss?
I can’t tell if it is me or them, but something’s amiss
I can honestly say I love you like no other
What do they know that I don’t I have to wonder
Track Name: Childish Things
Believe it or not but mermaids aren’t real be
There is actually no such thing as a unicorn be
There is no vampire that will make you his meal be
Little baby Jesus was never really born be

When I grew up, I put away childish things

You can’t find a leprechaun and his pot o’ gold be
No werewolves that leave their victims clawed be
There is no scary ghost you will ever behold be
Just so I am perfectly clear, there is no god be

When I grew up, I put away childish things

No basilisk slivering trying to turn you to stone be
You can’t enter the throne room of the Goblin King be
Ogres’ are not trying to make bread from your bones be
It’s completely impossible to fly on the angels wings be

When I grew up, I put away childish things

You won’t catch bigfoot stomping through the woods be
No fire breathing dragon that’s guarding his treasure be
There really are not gremlins that are up to no good be
You will never get to enjoy any heavenly pleasure be

When I grew up, I put away childish things

You will never be eaten alive by a manticore be
There are no ents, no dwarfs, no hobbits as well be
No one has ever seen a real chupacabra before be
There is no devil waiting for you deep down in hell be

When I grew up, I put away childish things
Track Name: It's Lonely in a One Man Band
Sometimes I feel so alone lost in a solitude I can hardly explain
Awash in a sea, set adrift while I struggle just to maintain
It is just me here, all alone That is just how things are
I do my best not to cry instead I just strum my guitar

Solitude, I’m not sure, if it can really, truely express how I feel
The vast emptiness that I have growing inside, is the word really ideal?
You say you understand that you have sympathy but it that really the case?
You don’t know me, just leave me alone while I play with my bass

The lonesomeness that weighs me down such a burden to bear
I’m not asking for sympathy, I am not asking for love, I don’t expect you to care
Solitude will completely me, it will swallow me whole, watch me succumb
The time has passed, all that is really left is for me to softly bang on the drum

No time like the present no reason to wait, no need to hold back
The time must be nigh, to say good by, All that’s left is to fade to black
This is the end, the conclusion, the finish, I will try to be quick
Now, much like Dylan the time has finally come to go to electric.
Track Name: Artist
I’ve been listening to a lot of Trent Reznor
I am not even really sure if I can even say why
There is just something about him that just speaks to me
I am not sure I can find the words, but here let me try
I would imagine it has something to do with angst
I think he speaks a lot to my inner teenager
I like the noise, I like the rage, I like the destroyed beauty
I think perhaps it might be a lot of his honest nature
It seems to me that he does what he wants
He makes the music that he wants to write
I don’t think he likes to bow down to label pressure
He has a loud bark but can have a terrible bite
He isn’t for everyone but to me he is a hero
His voice resonating inside me just can’t be ignored
Say what you want but he was covered by Johnny Cash
And he won a motherfucking academy award

I may not know art but I like what I know
I think an artist should be honest and true
So make the art you want to make, you know?
Be who you are and do what you do
I think the secret is to do it and let yourself grow
Don’t try to be the best or the smartest
Though who am I and what do I really know?
I’m just Ryan Spence, Pretend Artist

I’ve been listening to a lot of Amanda Palmer
She is a more recent addition to my listening pleasure
I sort of wish I had discovered her sooner
She is becoming quiet the lovely treasure (I mean that in the british way)
There always seems to be controversy around her
I guess she can rub people the wrong way
That may be part of the appeal for me
I’m a bit of a shit disturber, what can I say

But what I think I really love about her
It is the honesty coming from her I really feel
She is outspoken and opinionated and in your face
And above all else I have no doubt she is real
I guess what I think is the most important that
Is really about the way her music can make me feel
I will gladly admit I would love a chance to kiss her
Now that I mention it I’d also happily kiss Neil

I may not know art but I like what I know
I think an artist should be honest and true
So make the art you want to make, you know?
Be who you are and do what you do
I think the secret is to do it and let yourself grow
Don’t try to be the best or the smartest
Though who am I and what do I really know?
I’m just Ryan Spence, Pretend Artist

I’ve been listening to a lot of Tom Waits
I am not sure if I could make a better choice
Now that is certainly someone I can call artist
But please don’t let me try and do the voice
I really like that Tom is such a story teller
Weaving tales of the seedy underbelly of humanity
They are gritty, and raw and full of beauty and horror
There is a touch of humour to be found in all that insanity

Once again as an artist he seems very honest
Being the kind of performer that he wants to be
Looking at it I realize that honesty is something
That is clearly very important to me
I know there are some people who don’t like his voice
It doesn’t matter, because it is my heart he stole
Those of us that love him, just love him to death
You gotta keep detractors way down in the hole

I may not know art but I like what I know
I think an artist should be honest and true
So make the art you want to make, you know?
Be who you are and do what you do
I think the secret is to do it and let yourself grow
Don’t try to be the best or the smartest
Though who am I and what do I really know?
I’m just Ryan Spence, Pretend Artist
Track Name: Make You Cry
I have always wanted to write a song that can make people cry
I want my words to reach into their heart and make them want to die
I want to touch their soul to make them feel what I want them to feel
I need to find the words that hurt I need to find your achilles’ heel

But I can’t find the words to rip you apart
The words that get inside and break your heart
Your emotional breakdown I desperately want to engineer
But not matter what I say you won’t shed a fucking tear

I want to weave passionate lyrics into a deep and dark foreboding
But how to reach your heart I need to do some serious decoding
I scrutinize to see if your god damn armour really has any cracks
Nothing would make me happier than to behold your tear tracks

But I can’t find the words to rip you apart
The words that get inside and break your heart
Your emotional breakdown I desperately want to engineer
But not matter what I say you won’t shed a fucking tear

I desperately want a terrible sadness that is my only aim
I pretty much want you to hate me as you cry you curse my name
My words won’t get you I wonder what else there is, what tricks I can apply
It doesn’t really matter I might as well just giving up. Damn it just fucking cry

But I can’t find the words to rip you apart
The words that get inside and break your heart
Your emotional breakdown I desperately want to engineer
But not matter what I say you won’t shed a fucking tear
Track Name: BBW
Oh I found them to be quite amazing
Oh that kind of woman we should be praising
Oh the finest women I ever knew
Oh I love those BBW

What can I say about women that hasn’t been said before
A million times and in a million ways from days of yore
Each and every woman is amazing in her own special way
They are all beautiful they are all wonderful, that is all I have to say
But there is one type of woman I feel is sorely under appreciated
I think it well past time that this problem is alleviated

BBW
Those big beautiful women
BBW
Oh man they’ve got me swimming
BBW
I just can’t get them out of my head
BBW
Get of my dreams and into my bed

No please don’t get me wrong I am not trying to fetishize you
People out there find you beautiful and I want to make sure you knew
Oh my goodness you lovely women with all your lovely curves
You are certainly more woman than a man like me deserves
Now when I say this, I hope it doesn’t come across to rude
But hot damn you beautiful girl I’d love to see you nude

BBW
Those big beautiful women
BBW
Oh man they’ve got me swimming
BBW
I just can’t get them out of my head
BBW
Get of my dreams and into my bed

<possible rap>

BBW
Those big beautiful women
BBW
Oh man they’ve got me swimming
BBW
I just can’t get them out of my head
BBW
Get of my dreams and into my bed

To the guys out there that have no idea what they are missing
Open your eye and open your hearts to those girls you could be kissing
I guess what it is I am trying to say it try to see the beauty in everyone
Because trust me my friend you life could be a lot more fun
If you could see how sexy a bbw is just think what we could achieve
I would also like to mention, they fuck like you wouldn’t believe

Oh I love those BBW