Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B,A

Select player 1 and I am ready to start
My name is Mario and I’m ready to thwart
All the Bowser because he is an asshole
But the princess is in another fucking castle
With my fire flower I am ready to brawl
With my Starman I am invincible
All the Goombas are left flat in my wake
But this water level is the last I can take

I killed the guard and the gun is now mine
Now I must escapes castle wolfenstien
Watch as I machine gun Nazi dogs
And by dogs and mean soldiers and actual dogs
This flipping chaingun lets me frag
Looking for secrets to I press every flag
My escape won’t as easy as I thought
I still have to kill that fucking hilter robot

I have to save another fucking princess?
How many of them do I have to impress?
Where is my shield, my sword, my boomerang?
If you get in my way you are going to hang
I don’t care if you’re a Moblin or Goriya
Even Darknut and wizzrobe or river zoras
With my many hearts and my sword that shoots lasers
Zelda will know I am the Link who will saves hers

My name is Roger and I’m a questing janitor
Awake in a new place? Time to explore
It seems my pod has be labelled as trash
I’ve got to build a new one in a flash
Blasting off to another quest whereupon
I must stop those pirates of Pestulon
I might be a fool but I ain’t no slouch
Put that ladder in your pocket….Ouch

Check me out, I’m a fucking space marine
I am huge and my armour is such a pretty green
With my shotgun I lay these zealots to waste
Try as you might, you will never see my face
Come on grunts, come jackals and elite
Even hunters lay dead at my feet
I will bath in your weird alien blood
Nothing can stop me, oh shit.. the flood
I wake up to the sound of that creepy robot voice
I have to complete a series of test, I really have no choice
It really doesn’t sound so bad, I mean how long could it take?
I get to play with this neat gun and I have been promised cake
Make a blue hole and through the orange I fly
But I get the feeling that the cake is a lie
I will show that stupid computer that I am not a rube
If only I can drown out that weighted companion cube.

Ok it’s pretty clear that I am just a nerd
So what are you going to do?
If you understood anything I just said
Then you’re probably a nerd too

I need to escape from here, but I don’t see a route
Lucky for me, I can level jump with my trusty flute