Apparently we aren’t interested in your story
It has so been done, done to death
It’s just not real, it’s just not dark
No one waits with baited breath
To see your hero triumph,
It’s all just too god damn easy
No one cares about a shining knight
It is all way too cheesy

What we need is a gritty reboot
This whole thing needs a darker tone
This is a gritty reboot
The world is bleak and you’re all alone
It is time for a gritty reboot
There is no room for a happy place
In this fucking gritty reboot
Shove the grit right down your face

Make sure they dress in a sombre ensemble
Don’t forget the gravely voice
Make sure they are in a situation
Where they have no choice
But to come to a heart wrenching decision
About someone they truly love
Because we all know the needs of the many
Rank higher above
So we must feel his pain to be reminded
That he is multi dimensional
Do whatever we can to try and
Be unconventional

What we need is a gritty reboot
This whole thing needs a darker tone
This is a gritty reboot
The world is bleak and you’re all alone
It is time for a gritty reboot
There is no room for a happy place
In this fucking gritty reboot
Shove the grit right down your face

Make sure you don’t use flashy colours
Everything must be dark and grey
You can just forget the sunshine
Don’t even plan to shoot in the day
You see everything must be dark and dirty
Every detail must convey raw pain
You want the audience to sink into depression
It is time to drown their brain
In all the misery and woe you can
This is your change so you might
As well start killing off beloved characters
Left and right

Because it’s time for a gritty reboot
This whole thing needs a darker tone
This is a gritty reboot
The world is bleak and you’re all alone
It is time for a gritty reboot
There is no room for a happy place
In this fucking gritty reboot
Shove the grit right down your face